I am not alone. But sometimes I feel alone. I am an advocate for learning. You know that whole teacher thing. I want my students to learn. I have a feeling a lot of us feel that way. We want our kids or students to learn. I am going to go out on a limb here and say that I even think kids want to learn. But I sometimes feel that what learning should look like isn’t what we see. So what does learning look like? And also, what does it feel like for the student?
The 1st quarter of the marking period is ending. So of course, this is the time when students decide they need to look at their grades to find out if they are learning. Now, I am pretty sure they don’t look at their grades to find out if they are learning. They look at their grades to find out how they are doing. They look at their grades to see what they are missing and what they can do about it. I hate this time of year. I hate every single marking period. I get the same question: What can I do to raise my grade? I stare blankly at them, but inside I am in turmoil. How is it that I did not communicate that if a student learns their grade should reflect that. And that the grade they have is a reflection of what they have learned. Part of the problem is, I haven’t walked the walk. I give out points. I create assignments and grade them and put points on them. This is called work. It is never called learning. Kids think learning is doing work. The act of filling in a worksheet, writing a paragraph, reading a novel, doing page 57 all odds in the math text, answering the chapter questions, these are all examples of learning. But are they?
What does learning look like? Is it a piece of paper with points on it? That’s how my students see it. Learning is a piece of paper. My students ask for work. I often ask them what percentage they feel they have learned based off of what I have taught. They are usually pretty accurate. But their letter grade doesn’t reflect what they answer. A student came to me with concerns. She had a low grade. She was missing a couple of quizzes and a reflective rubric. I had her do the rubric and take the quizzes. It put her grade at an 80%. She was not happy. She was disappointed and told me she needed an A. I talked to her for a bit. The quizzes were uniques quizzes. I have been doing things very differently with grading this year. We talked about the quizzes and she saw that she did only know 80%. She admitted that she did not know 95% of what I was saying in Spanish to her. She was not happy. But she understood. I am hoping to see more and deeper engagement next week. I also explained that the grade is not permanent. If her learning grows…so shouldn’t her grade reflect that?
I have thought about grades a lot over the years. This year I am trying to move away from grades. There is such a huge focus on the numbers and the points that students lose focus on the learning, I have become so tired of hearing students ask how much is this worth? This year everything we do in class is worth everything. Everything we do is 100% connected to learning Spanish. Acquiring it, internalizing it, making it happen. Every. Single. Thing. They don’t get it yet. I realized that this week when they came to me begging for points. They do not see that every conversation we have as a class is learning. They do not realize that when we create an image or a story, that they are learning. I thought I had been clear in explaining all of this to them and what it looks like, but apparently not. It dawned on me yesterday that I have a long ways to go with them in changing this mindset. And also for myself. Because I am still assigning points to certain things. There is still a grade in the grade book. Mostly because I have to put a grade in, but I want that grade to equal true learning, and I want the focus to be only on the learning.
So what does that look like? For every kid, it is going to look different. Right now we create things in class. Right now all the learning is happening in their brains. It is not something they can touch or see or turn in. So to them, they may not even think they are learning. It occurred to me, maybe they even wonder when I am going to start teaching. Because what I am doing doesn’t even feel like teaching somedays. Not in the traditional sense. At the end of the week, they fill out a rubric on their participation in class. There is one part where they tell me what they felt confident about. Their answers are very stock. I get answers that any teacher might get- I learned how to say such and such. I was confident in my speaking Spanish- although they are not assessed on speaking, and they only answer questions in one-word answers. They are not reflective. They do not see that the fact that they understand what I am saying is the learning. Plus, the class is easy. How could they possibly be learning if it seems easy? But it is still rigorous. I see it in their eyes. I watch them, and I teach to their eyes. I see when they get tired. I see when their brains are starting to become worn out. But they do not know what is happening to them. And that is what learning is. It is something that happens to you. It is the acquisition of content..not the act of turning something in. And that leaves me asking: when I have them turn something in….did they learn in the process? Did they get something out of it? So far we have done readings and listening quizzes…this is all. I do feel that the quizzes are very telling. They are short and simple, and they are mostly for them. But if they don’t see that they just understood a bunch of stuff I said in another language as learning…what can I do?
I know what to do. I keep doing what I am doing. I change things around. I keep pushing, and I do not relent in my quest to get kids to focus less on the grade and focus on the act of engagement which will lead to learning or better yet, acquisition. But I still wonder, will they be able to break free from letters and the numbers of grades? Will they come to me at some point and say “What did I not learn?” Instead of “What am I missing?” Will they say to me, “Look what I learned today!” Will they see the value in what I am trying to do in my crazy class? Will they be able to see that everything single thing we do in the class leads to acquisition?
I do not know. It is what I want for them. But I do not know how long it will take. I do not know if I can do it all in one school year. I do think if I were allowed to not give out grades for a period, maybe the focus would shift from the numbers to the learning? Maybe? What do you think?
Educational Rant 
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