Educational Rant- Compliance

I am sitting at the kitchen table in tears. These tears I have been holding back for days, and I didn’t know why until now. I decided to go to Powerschool. I never do this. I used to do this. I used to be obsessed, and I had notifications, and I got a ding every single time something in Powerschool changed. It made me crazy. So, I quit looking at Powerschool, and my life as a parent improved. But today, I needed to contact my son’s counselor, so I went to PowerSchool to find out who his counselor was. And I saw his grades, and I cried. I balled my eyes out. I realized that all this emotion pent in me over the last few days was for my son.

He is a good kid. He is an intelligent kid. He knows himself, and he primarily makes good decisions for himself. Mostly, but not always. And I am good with that. He has always been a good student in the traditional sense- good attendance, does his work, turns in his work, doesn’t get into trouble. But that good student isn’t a good student if he is failing, right?

He has always been this kid who does his homework at school. In elementary school, he never brought work home. He just finished it in class when he had free time. So, last year while we were all at home, he refused to do work. He showed up online and attended class, but he refused to do the work because, as he put it, “I am at home, and I do not work at home.”

There are so many arguments we could have had about this, but I didn’t go there. I kind of admired this value, although somewhat misplaced for the times we were all in. We were ALL working from home.

Now he is at school, and he is also working two jobs. As we were driving to school today, he started complaining about his back. His back hurts from sitting at a desk all day. He stated, with huge frustration, that it was not normal to sit in a chair all day and have a few minutes to get up and move around, and the human body is not supposed to be in a chair all day. I kind of agree with this.

This kid of mine is usually self-motivated and driven. When he knows what he wants, he makes it happen. When he is was in about 1st or 2nd grade, he decided he wanted a bearded dragon. He got two paper routes, not one, but two. He worked for two years, saved his money, did his research, and came to be ready to get a bearded dragon. He made it happen. And he does this all the time. Once he makes up his mind, he does what needs to be done and accomplishes what he set out to do.

He also has a love of learning; well, he used to. Now he finds school to be irrelevant; it does not support him in his goals.

He wants to be a chef. And has been working towards that goal. He is working these two jobs to save money for a culinary school in Japan. I have no doubt he will succeed in this. He has secured himself an apprenticeship with a Japanese chef and is finding value in this work. He is learning and making connections to the future career he wants.

Then I saw his grades, and I cried. I didn’t cry because his grades suck; I cried because he is spending 5 days a week, 7 hours a day doing things that do not fuel his passion, that bring him no joy, things he knows have no value to him, and his goal. I cried because he sits in pain in classes that he knows are not helping him achieve his goal. I cried because I know he is an intelligent, capable student who can quickly learn. I cried because I know these F grades in Powerschool have no bearing on the human that he is, the dedication he has for his future, or for the knowledge he actually holds in his head. I cried because I know that he is in a system that values this compliance over the whole child. I cried because we exist in a system that places a high value on a number, percentage, or piece of paper(diploma) to define a child’s worth.

The only thing these grades show me is that my son is refusing to be compliant.

Compliance…that is what he is being graded on. He is smart. He is a capable learner. As long as he has been on this planet, he has had a love of learning. He learned to search and discover and was curious. Only once in all his years of education has he come home excited and said, “I gotta tell you what I learn today!”

How many other parents feel this way? Am I alone? I have a quick, intelligent son who has a thirst for knowledge and goes to a place every day where he does not find relevance in what is being taught yet learns it. Yet, he is failing because he won’t do the work. And it is just busywork. Busywork. But that is another topic for another day.

My tears today are for my son and his youth and any kid who is suffering. For all the kids that show up, sit down, and do what they are supposed to do, yet find no meaning in their day. I am crying for the kids that bring other things into the room, such as physical or emotional pain, apathy, loneliness, or lack of connection to who they are or what they want. Why are we still defining our youth by percentages, by the amount of work done? Why are we still using a system that is teacher-directed rather than student-driven? Why are we still using compliance to grade a kid?

I don’t want my son to sit in a chair, in pain, finding no meaning in his day. I don’t want my kid to spend 35 hours a week doing things that lack value for him. I do not want my son to have to do homework after already attending 35 hours of school. I do not want my son to follow someone else’s version of what his success looks like. He is still young and should be finding joy in his life now.

Never in my life did I ever think that I would encourage my son to drop out of school, but I think I will for his sake.